My Journey Towards Feminism: Episode 1

*This blog is part of a series that explores my journey towards Feminism. It would be a bit random and i haven’t written the next part yet but if you like what you see, please like and comment this post. Constructive criticism is always welcomed.”

Since i was young, i was always different than everyone i knew. Whenever i saw a female character cooking in a kitchen, taking care of her kids, getting them ready for school while her husband ordered her around to find that one sock which he apparently couldn’t see, i felt uneasy. Whenever i saw other women in my life blindly agreeing to everything the men in their family said, my stomach dropped. Why the women are always so submissive? My younger self asked but never got the answer. I was always asked to keep quiet or had to listen to this hour long rant, mostly from  other women, about how we are supposed to obey men because “they know better” even if that man was their 11 years old brother who didn’t even know how to tie his shoelaces. I was someone who was not good at confronting others so i would just listen, giving a disapproving glance or two.

I was not part of the clique and felt alone as no one shared the same views as me. My friends actually avoided getting into discussion related to women with me because I had something different to say, something different than what society had taught them, as if having your own thoughts was something bad. I always felt like a stranger in my own group and often asked myself, “Where do I belong? Am i the weird one or is everyone living in this oppressive shadow world where they couldn’t fathom how women are equal to men and men won’t lose their masculinity just because they cook a meal?” So i avoided getting into these discussions altogether, keeping my feelings inside while going through the motions.

This was before we got a computer in our house and the luxury of internet. I still remember we had to put the telephone cable inside the modem port in CPU and got the slowest internet ever but it was still better than nothing. I started dabbling into different search spaces and reading the material i was interested in. After 2 years of surfing the fun side of internet, I accidentally landed on an article discussing women who were working hard to get equal rights and how these prominent feminists were demanding equal pay and benefits as their male counterparts. I don’t exactly remember the title of that article but one word stuck to me and it was “Feminist”.  I had never heard of this word before as we were never taught about any movement for women’s right and had no idea what it meant. I started reading up on it and googled its definition. “A person who supports feminism.” What’s feminism? I asked myself. It read: feminism is “the advocacy of women’s rights on the ground of the equality of the sexes” and i felt right at home. With one sentence i knew where i belonged, what my identity was, and what i was fighting for all those years ago. That’s when i realized there are people who share my thoughts and feelings. I was delighted to know they are vocal about their beliefs. I was happy. I proudly call myself a feminist. I was at home. Finally.