Moon

“Look at the Moon.”, she said.

“What you see is this magnificent piece of art that gives light to billions when nothing else shines. It gives them hope that it will always be here for them even when all the hope leaves their nights. It will stay by their side, night after night, month after month. It is a symbol of hope and romance.” She paused and stared at his puzzled face. She took a breath and continued.

“But what we don’t see is its eternal reality. A piece of rock. A celestial body with no breath. Hiding a thousand storms inside and still shining upon those who have lost their light.”, she said.

“Some people are also like that. Empty on the inside, but still caring for those around them, becoming a ray of hope for others while hiding a thousand wounds inside.”

-Aqsa Akbar

Doomsday

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Part 2:

As the timer counted down 3.2.1, they suddenly heard a piercing bang behind them. They looked at each other and then behind them. Something was flying right towards them, something big. Armeen grabbed Sameen’s hand and ran while looking behind. As it got closer, she could see the details and its shape. She suddenly realized in an instant what that shape was. It was a rocket! Horrified with this new revelation, she looked at Sameen and yelled at her to run faster. They ran as fast as they could and as long as they could when suddenly they heard another bang. They were suddenly thrown to the ground. The rocket made impact and exploded.

The blast was so severe that it knocked both of them violently on the ground almost 5 feet from where they were before. For a moment, nothing made sense to Armeen. Her ears were ringing and her head hurt badly. She gained some balance and tried to get up, but fell back down. She looked around and saw Sameen on ground. She was not moving. A horrific thought crawled through her mind. She tried to yell her name, Sameen.. Sameen.. Sameen! But her voice only echoed in her own mind. She desperately gathered the strength left in her and moved towards Sameen. “Sameen get up. Come on please open your eyes”, she yelled. A feeling of peace went through her when Sameen tried to open her eyes and moved her hand towards Armeen. “Thanks to Allah, you are ok. I was so worried”, she cried. Sameen tried to get up but failed.

They both stayed there for a minute while Armeen called emergency services. She didn’t get through because the line was busy. She tried again and again but failed every time. She decided to stop calling and asked Sameen if she could get up. Sameen tried and with the help of Armeen, she got up and they moved towards a bench. Sameen sat down and Armeen looked around to assess the situation. The rocket didn’t do much damage as there were not many people on the site of impact but it made a big hole in the ground. She looked up and saw smoke coming from different points located near and far. It scared her. She told Sameen to sit there and she will bring help. She looked around to find some water and brought it to Sameen. Then she went to look for help that seemed non-existent at the moment. She tried to call emergency services again but still didn’t get through. She gave up on contacting them and moved towards the university medical clinic.

As she made her way towards the clinic, she saw absolute chaos. The rockets had hit on multiple sites inside the university and many students were hurt. People were running around, some decided to hide. Everyone was horrified and confused. She decided to ask few who stopped to listen but no one knew anything. She quickly gave up and went to clinic. It was crawling with injured students. She tried to ask for an ambulance but was told all ambulances were already dispatched. She asked when they will be back, no one knew.

Disheartened, she decided to go back to Sameen because she didn’t want to leave her alone for so long. She went back and told Sameen the situation and decided to take her to the hospital in a taxi. “I am fine, Armeen. Don’t worry. I think I just fainted for a minute due to the blast but I am feeling much better.”, Sameen said. “But still we should go to a hospital. We don’t know how hard we hit the ground and you also fainted. We need to see a doctor for us to be sure”, Armeen replied. “Look around you. A rocket fell on us and you told me it wasn’t the only one. Only worse scenarios are coming into my mind and I just want to go home and see my family.”

Doomsday

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Part 1:

It was a fine summer morning. She got up and felt that surge of depression again. She had days when she was fine physically and emotionally, while in others she couldn’t even function properly. She got up anyways because no one had time for her dramatics. She decided to visit her archenemy QAU because it could prove to be a fine escape as she knew it would be mostly empty during summer vacations. She always preferred local transport instead of hailing a taxi because it was cheap and she loves cheap things. She got on the 21 number van and then switched to 120 when she reached Aabpara.

Her journey so far was uneventful, people were going on about their business. Roads were crowded with cars. Everything seemed normal as it can be. When she got off in front of QAU gate, she decided to take a walk from there to the chemistry department. The footpath was pretty steep and walking on it always left her out of breath. She walked to the gate of the chemistry department and saw the guards. “They won’t let me in without my ID card”, she thought. “I am just going to walk up to him and see what happens next”, She thought to herself. Having decided that, she walked up to the guard and without saying a word, the guard let her in. She was surprised. Once she climbed the stairs leading up to the higher ground, she found out the reason why. There was a festival going on and the place was crawling with students, Alumni and visitors.

She felt a tense vibe creep up her spine and began to dread the fact she might end up meeting someone she knew. She shook her head in disproval and walked towards the chemistry huts. She ordered a cup of tea and decided to take a walk around the campus. As QAU is built on a hilly area, its grounds are uneven. There are often multiple levels of ground in a single place. She began Walking on one of the higher grounds and just examined people in the lower ground to see if any of her friends were there. She didn’t see anyone. She walked around aimlessly, making small talk with a person or two as she passed by them.

She was just finishing up her tea and walked towards a dustbin to dispose of her cup when she saw someone familiar and immediately recognized them. It was Zoya and Rehan. “I should have known they would be here”, she thought to herself. She decided to hide until they left to avoid being found out and forced to catch up. She hid behind a group of friends passing by her and decided to follow them. They couldn’t have gone 10 feet when suddenly they decided to break the group and leave in opposite directions. It happened so fast and she was still trying to think what she should do next when she suddenly looked up. Lo and behold, Zoya was standing right in front of her. “There goes your chance of being alone”, she thought to herself as she tried to muster up facial expressions that expressed surprise on this sudden encounter.

“Armeen what are you doing here? How are you? I didn’t know you were coming”, Zoya said in her happy voice and went in for a hug. “I didn’t plan on coming but I was feeling down and needed an escape so I just ended up here”, Armeen replied. Rehan had also noticed Armeen and greeted her with a happy but calculated tone. Together they decided they will have lunch and then meet up with some of their friends later in the day. They went to cruise through every food stall and decided to eat shawarma to relive their life on the campus when every time they would come to these huts, they always ended up eating their shwarma. She remembered her group and sighed. Zoya saw one of her friends and waved at her. She came over to greet them. Armeen knew her. Her name was Sameen and she was a photographer. As Armeen also aspired to be a photographer, she and Sameen used to have long conversations about the subject and discuss each other’s photography style. Sameen came over and gave both girls a tight hug. “I have missed you guys”, She said while tightly holding onto Zoya. “We missed you too”, replied Armeen.

Sameen decided to spend the rest of her time with them and they were grateful for her company. They roamed aimlessly for 1 hour, just browsing through all the stalls and cheerfully commenting on something they liked or really disliked. Then Rehan and Zoya left to see the play in the auditorium, agreeing to meet with the rest of group in front of the gate after one hour. Armeen and Sameen decided to take pictures together and Sameen took her DSLR camera out. They both took turns and clicked amazing pictures of stalls, the crowd, and each other.

One hour passed by in a hurry and they decided to take one last selfie of the day. They adjusted the DSLR on a chair and Armeen set the frame of their picture. The sky was looking amazing with beautiful clouds floating by and they both decided to bring the sky in the frame as well. Armeen picked it up and proceeded to take their selfie. “I am going to set up a timer because you always close your eyes right when the picture is taken”, Sameen laughed. It was true. Armeen could never stay still for a moment and always ended up taking her picture with one or both eyes closed. Sameen set the timer to 3 seconds and passed the camera to Armeen. “Smile”, she said and clicked the button. Little did they know, this picture would become a historic artefact of what happened next.

What would you do?

If I told you are going to die tomorrow,

What would you do?

If I told you this is your last day on Erath,

What would you do?

If I told you I loved you,

Would you grab my hand and run away?

Would you ignore my words and look away?

What would you do?

Would you take me to that secret space?

Would you tell me you don’t feel the same?

What would you do?

If I told you I loved you.

 

My Journey Towards Feminism: Episode 1

*This blog is part of a series that explores my journey towards Feminism. It would be a bit random and i haven’t written the next part yet but if you like what you see, please like and comment this post. Constructive criticism is always welcomed.”

Since i was young, i was always different than everyone i knew. Whenever i saw a female character cooking in a kitchen, taking care of her kids, getting them ready for school while her husband ordered her around to find that one sock which he apparently couldn’t see, i felt uneasy. Whenever i saw other women in my life blindly agreeing to everything the men in their family said, my stomach dropped. Why the women are always so submissive? My younger self asked but never got the answer. I was always asked to keep quiet or had to listen to this hour long rant, mostly from  other women, about how we are supposed to obey men because “they know better” even if that man was their 11 years old brother who didn’t even know how to tie his shoelaces. I was someone who was not good at confronting others so i would just listen, giving a disapproving glance or two.

I was not part of the clique and felt alone as no one shared the same views as me. My friends actually avoided getting into discussion related to women with me because I had something different to say, something different than what society had taught them, as if having your own thoughts was something bad. I always felt like a stranger in my own group and often asked myself, “Where do I belong? Am i the weird one or is everyone living in this oppressive shadow world where they couldn’t fathom how women are equal to men and men won’t lose their masculinity just because they cook a meal?” So i avoided getting into these discussions altogether, keeping my feelings inside while going through the motions.

This was before we got a computer in our house and the luxury of internet. I still remember we had to put the telephone cable inside the modem port in CPU and got the slowest internet ever but it was still better than nothing. I started dabbling into different search spaces and reading the material i was interested in. After 2 years of surfing the fun side of internet, I accidentally landed on an article discussing women who were working hard to get equal rights and how these prominent feminists were demanding equal pay and benefits as their male counterparts. I don’t exactly remember the title of that article but one word stuck to me and it was “Feminist”.  I had never heard of this word before as we were never taught about any movement for women’s right and had no idea what it meant. I started reading up on it and googled its definition. “A person who supports feminism.” What’s feminism? I asked myself. It read: feminism is “the advocacy of women’s rights on the ground of the equality of the sexes” and i felt right at home. With one sentence i knew where i belonged, what my identity was, and what i was fighting for all those years ago. That’s when i realized there are people who share my thoughts and feelings. I was delighted to know they are vocal about their beliefs. I was happy. I proudly call myself a feminist. I was at home. Finally.

I have been Away for Far too Long!

I almost forgot i had a blog here until today when a friend of mine sent me her poem and asked me to give my thoughts on it. She said she is starting her own blog and intends to publish it there. It was indeed a beautiful poem and it hit me. Damn! i also have a blog which i totally forgot about. I know, i know. I must be losing it because i am forgetting a lot of things these days but i am working on that. Now i am hell bent on being regular on my blog and write something worth reading. 🙂

See you soon and hopefully Wisdom will strike me on the way 😀
Kidding 😛
Ciao.

My Personal Diary :)

For Some reason, i want to turn this blog into my Personal Diary. I might not be able to be too open about my feelings (as it is public) but there might come a time when i can.. so from now on, i’ll try and write my thoughts and feelings here. So bear with me 🙂

Random Random Thoughts!!

Is there something called “True Love”? or is it something that cease to exist?? What i feel, what you feel, is there any way it is relevant at all?? To you, To me, To nature… To all those whom we love and they wont love us back.. Is it necessary to die for them?? Is it necessary to cry for them?? Is it necessary to give them any importance at all??? Why are we like this? Is there nothing we can do about our these stupid feelings??

I try to find closure but i get none.. I am amazed how this world works, how you work, how i work.. The feelings of superiority, the feelings of hatred, the feeling of remorse.. Should we give any importance to them then the feelings of love, the feeling of attachments? Why are we like this..

The human nature is beyond my understanding.. Hell, i can’t even understand my own feelings! These Damn Feelings of mine change like the wind. For a moment its here and the second, its gone.. Whooosh! just like that. Is there any way to understand how a human mind works.. I feel so lonely and then i am not! its horrible. Humans are weak. They can’t even control their own emotions. Ah! i wish i could at least control mine..

Maybe we are meant to be like that. You can’t really argue with the nature anyway. So, i guess we have to  bear with it and open our heart to someone who deserves it! One might not know who to trust but i guess if i open my heart, i might find the One.. 🙂

Birthday Girl ^_^

Guess what, Its my Birthday.. Yay ^_^
I am 21 years old now and well i don’t feel the responsibilities rushing towards me.. xD
But i pray and Wish that i get what i want this year and May this year be the Best year of My Life (hehe self-wishing 😀 i hope you Don’t Mind 😛 )
Wish me Luck.. 😀

Photo Credits: A very Good Friend of Mine 🙂

Wisteria Flower Tunnel, Japan.

No Comments. I Simply Love this Place. ❤

Credits: Whoever Took This Picture or Us To See 🙂